You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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