her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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