Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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