new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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