Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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