He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
