yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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