i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize