is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
