On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
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I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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