Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
