yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
