We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
