Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
