I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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