im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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