I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
