Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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