How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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