took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
