its not stalking. its research.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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