1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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