you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i barfeds in our rink
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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