So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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