She is in my trunk
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
