I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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