well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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