i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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