The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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