do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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