You smell like stripper and shame
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
