Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
