the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
