He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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