so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
