my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
