I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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