but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
