i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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