garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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