Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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