yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
And then he peed in my hair
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