So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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