Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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