Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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