Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
As shirtless as possible
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
