do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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