we're blogging at a bar
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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