So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
is it fun? or sober?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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