Nicole vs. Life
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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