My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize