hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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