did you get engaged???
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
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you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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