My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
