absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My hand turned me down
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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