I wish I could teleport
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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