Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
