I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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