You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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