so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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