ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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