I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
