then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
