I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
