This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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